Short post 4.

I am doing 5 minute writing exercises this week. Some friends are doing a hangout with me in a few…will try to get 5 minutes in before that happens. 

Today was a long day. This has been a long week. Seeds aren’t germinating in one of my experiments. My fault, grabbed a bad batch of seeds, I think :(. They will be tossed. I need to write. I need to do big things.

I need to embark on a new project for myself because the ones I have are feeling stale and I just need to do something more with life. This can’t be all there is. I keep avoiding this because it frankly sounds daft in my head: ‘yes, I do communicate science, I love it and I get paid to do it sometimes’.

I seem to gravitate towards education, communication, marketing, writing, curiosity, learning, all of that. I saw that happify infographic that went around awhile ago about introversion and I found myself saying yep..all those careers that introverts work well in are ones that appeal to me, I am a scientist (or I play one, at least?).

how does all that daftness translate into a new direction? How do I make time to explore? With experiments this week, it’s not happening. I’m taking less good care of myself than I should this week so far, and that probably isn’t good for me. But I am going after things rather intensely…leavning it all on the field as it were and that feels good.

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Short post 3.

I am doing one short post a day. I write for 5 minutes and then stop and publish. This one is late in the day, so we’ll see how it goes…

I am trying not to panic with all the things that are going on for me this month.

I am concerned that nothing I am doing means anything and yet I am trying to obsessively finish a lot of stuff that I’ve had on the back burner for way too long and some urgent experiments that need to get done ASAP for grant deadlines PI has. I’m finishing a manuscript. I’m also trying to maintain exercise, and get myself situated for a good old job search/networking/whatever. And I’m trying to look after my mental health.

I crashed last night after a long day. I got home from running workout on the track and just collapsed and vegetated on my couch despite having things to do.

In some ways all this activity is good. I seem to be coping OK which I don’t think would be the case a few years ago. At the same time, I feel like there are life things I am neglecting; important ones. While I sort of want a more relaxed pace of things, I know I need to hustle too.

I feel like I am on the verge of getting sick. Sleeping isn’t going well and exercise time is suffering. I probably need to say ‘no’ to more things and really prioritize until is hurts.

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