I turned 37 this week and I guess it’s time to think about my last year and just how I’m doing in life.

In a lot of ways, I’ve built momentum and life is getting a bit better.

I am getting myself out into the world more and slowly bringing projects to fruition even though it’s frustrating at times. I’m getting really impatient with having ideas, wanting to do them, but then thinking about them so much that they just never make it out of my own brain.

I have had my writing posted on blogs that are not my own. I have moved further into the digital realm of learning some of the graphic design tools like Adobe’s cloud software (very expensive, but fun). Speaking of, I’m investing in myself a lot more; I’m giving myself permission to access tools that I find useful.

I’ve been trying to learn statistics and R a lot better…with some small successes. I don’t have the chance to really do a lot with it, but I’ve discovered the Swirl package that teaches you how to use R within R. And there are lecture slides associated with it that explain the statistics models in detail even though I haven’t been able to follow them much…still learning.

I am taking steps to market myself more, getting the ideas I have out into the world. I have ideas. Things I want to help build. Like the best platforms for the scientific community to best get our ideas across to each other (across disciplines) as in mentoring, fostering collaborations, but also to educate people into the process of science. I’m OK with the fact that there are a lot of people who already do this and do it better than I do. It really does take a large village. Science succeeds over time as a collective…most of the individual contributions made are small pieces of a whole and often not fully correct.

There’s been a lot of trial and error, it hasn’t been easy, and I have a long ways to go still. And that’s scary since I am starting to feel old. However, My imperative is to do my best to do things now. Not delay and simply put myself out there in the world, not inside my own brain all of the time.

So there you go. I acknowledged my birthday. I have no idea what my next trip around the sun will mean for me (I’ll sit down and make some goals/plans for myself soon), but the fact that I feel ,my brain is operating without the oppressive cloud of depression really is something amazing. Something I probably couldn’t rightly say last year.








Statistics, computer biology and the future. R!

I have been attempting to learn R. And biostatistics and how to analyze large datasets…not having been traditionally trained in these things (at least not in a super formal way).

It’s going slowly in fits and starts. @ALoraine205 suggested I document what I’ve been tryign to learn. That won’t be pretty as I haven’t been able to devote my full attention to it, so it’s easy to forget what I’ve already learned.

So, why do I want to learn to do all of this? Because I want to push myself, but also prepare for the future when statisitics, computers and large datasets are all that will exist in biology in terms of data.

So here’s the inaugural post of an Idi  Ian learning R.

What do I know now?

1. I can load my data into R and am familiar with R studio and some packages.

2. I can do basic arithmetic, and t-tests as well as make very basic plots.

3. I know how to do some very, very simple manipulations of data to format it properly.

4. I know what packages are, but still am very unclear on what most of them actually do in any detail.

What are my stumbling blocks? 

Too numerous to count. Main = Main?! Yes, but in R Main = Main…the mains are different, some how? huh?! Still don’t fully grasp that one. And the help files for the various functions are gibberish to me. It’s English (my native language), but make no sense words do in help file. Googling things isn’t much more helpful.

Some of this blind spot is lack of education in statistics and in handling large datasets; but maybe I’m getting there. I know at least most of the software tools that people use to analyze these large datasets, but still have trouble running them myself nad am not sure how they all fit together with one another.

I am also not a computer programmer, so the command line thing is a little challenging too.

What are my goals?

1. Biggest one is that I want to do all of my statistics and data analysis in R, if possible; I think that’s possible. Most of what I have are continuous data measurements, qRTPCR data and other things like that that R should breeze through. And I would love to be able to better mine published large data sets (microarrays, RNAseq, etc.) as well as design and analyze my own.

Anyway, I hope someone finds my path to learning enlightening some how or can help me along the way; for years, I was terrified of saying I didn’t know something or how to do something (oh, then I’ll just pass this off to someone who does– since taking time to learn something new isn’t something anyone has time for any more…at least that’s how I sense the culture around me). And it’s showing vulnerability- possibly weakness at some level. Hopefully this will help me learn, help teachers figure out where student’s stumbling blocks are (if they’re not aware already) and hopefully we’ll have some fun too. This should become a regular feature on the blog. Let me know if it doesn’t.