The road to ________.

I tend to be patient.

And I tend not to ask for much.

I’m starting to think both of those are problems.

I think I had a decent shot at a job recently, but the position was suspended, possibly eliminated. That’s frustrating, but I know it’s not uncommon.

I feel like I should plan some sort of grand adventure. I’ve kept myself very sheltered despite my, in theory, exciting life as a scientist. I’d like to visit a few other countries in the world, even if just a few places within them.

Mostly, I still have a long list of to-dos regarding networking, organizing my digital profile, and otherwise trying to connect with more people, though of course, genuinely.

I’m hope there’s more out there for me in life. I know it’s somewhat self-determined, but as I write about here a lot, connection doesn’t come easily to me and it feels like there’s just a lot that doesn’t get through my still very thick walls.

I hope I can still engage my mind in meaningful learning, reading, experiences, etc.

I’ve been frustrated that I keep seeming to need a career transition to happen before I truly start my life. I don’t know if this is just me, something that postdocs everywhere feel to some extent and I am just particularly sensitive to it or is this still mild depression keeping me back, keeping me from trying, making me have a high activation energy before I’ll do anything.

These are some of the thoughts that have been kicking around my tired brain the last few weeks. And I don’t seem to have answers. Nor any sudden wells of energy, perhaps driven by some larger purpose or goal.

One day at a time, I suppose, even though I am starting to feel like my days are limited.

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Author: Ian Street

Ian is a plant scientist and science writer relating stories of plant science and scientists on his blog, The Quiet Branches as well as other outlets. You can find him on Twitter @IHStreet.

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