I feel comfortable saying I’m going from version Ian 2.8 to Ian 2.9 today. And with Ian 2.9, I can work towards Ian 3.0 in earnest- while having fun along the way.
To start the transition, this sentence from Sarah Kathleen Peck’s blog http://itstartswith.com/ is what I am going to keep in mind:
It’s one of my current favorite blogs that takes into account both the positive and the negatives of life and not all one or the other, but has a positive tone which is exactly the head space I want to occupy. This op-ed in the New York Times is also in the same vein.
Ian 2.0 was about getting my own internal dialogue under control and getting to the point of being OK wanting things for myself. I feel that I’ve gotten there this last few months and can say that being clinically depressed is mostly behind me. I’ve embraced my introverted nature (extremely introverted), my geekiness, and my love of technology & science that I haven’t had the easiest relationship with over the last few years. But I think it will be a part of my life no matter what the next step is for me. I love science and talking about it’s discoveries and insights with others. I’ve had several experiences conveying information to people today- about science and it is something that gets endorphins in my brain to release.
To get to Ian 3.0, I think requires a big transition in life. A new career is top of the list. As a postdoc, I think the point is to find your place in the world- and I still haven’t found mine yet. I still think a primarily undergraduate institution is where I would like to end up as a faculty member. That said, I am not opposed to ending up doing something else either. Ian 3.0 will have a career. I will do my job Hopefully I will be able to incorporate science into that somehow.
On a personal note, I turn 35 in a few weeks (as I think I noted in a previous post). In thinking about that fact, I do still want a personal life that I’ve put off for too long- possibly more than a career, though I think a career is necessary for me as well. A balance would be nice. Regardless, to take care of myself, I feel first, I need a job and then a life can flow from there. Spoken like a true postdoc I think.
To get to Ian 3.0, I know I’ll need help along the way. Part of getting comfortable with myself and having a bit more belief in myself is that I am more willing to admit that I don’t know everything (in fact , I probably I know very little) and am willing to ask for help when I need it as well as help people whenever I can.
My brain has played these 7 tricks on me for a long time now. With that and the rest of this post in mind, let the work towards the release of Ian 3.0 (coming sometime next year) begin!