It’s just two weeks into the new year and I’m experiencing what can only be described as fear. It’s a familiar feeling and one I should get past, but my introverted nerdy brain constantly projects what’s ahead or what a given undertaking will take and I don’t feel up to it. Take job hunting as an example. This is the narrative I have in my head that makes it hard to get started doing something:
I have to put together a perfect resume as an academic who’s trying to switch fields into what? Can I do something else? How can I adjust my dream job to something that’s not a professorship (Can I even get that?)? Can I convince anyone with my highly specialized skills that I can do anything else? Are there job postings that even remotely fit me? Will I make it through the interview gauntlet it seems to take to get any job now? I’m not perfect and that’s what it seems to take these days.
On the one hand, writing that makes it sound ridiculous. Of course, on the other, I have my times when I believe it. I know there’s not much to say. I just have to try…and see what happens. I’ll probably make every mistake in the book (and a few that aren’t in there), but as I’ve told myself so many times, I’ve got to try and be optimistic.